


Drabbles #2

by AbeeChua



Series: Starkiller [3]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Bullying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-02
Updated: 2019-03-02
Packaged: 2019-11-08 04:09:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17974214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AbeeChua/pseuds/AbeeChua
Summary: Armitage's days in the Resistance.He knew it was never going to be easy. His life never was easy.He should be used to it by now, but everyone gets tired, especially when you are already going through so much.Hux was a human too.





	Drabbles #2

Staring at the figure in the mirror, his hands gently went through the scars that littered his abdomen. The burns from cigarette butts still brought back the traumatic memory that caused immensepain on his still soft and tender chest.

 

_He screamed so badly as the first time the cigarette came into contact with his chest. He was only six but Brendol had decided that he needed to man up. Age did not matter, pain tolerance did. He had then repeatedly burned the boy again until he learnt in that one long few hours that he must not scream._

 

Armitage Hux was a feared man in the first order. No one knew the sufferings he went through as a child up through his cadet years. Brendol was an abusive father…. No he wasn’t. That explained a lot. He wasn’t his father. He just kidnapped and brain washed Armitage when he was still just a mere boy. General Organa…. No, Leia had told him that.

 

_I don’t deserve pity. I am a failure. No one cares about a failure. Waste of time and space._

 

A gentle knock on the door snapped him back to reality.

 

“Yeah?”

 

Almost as gentle as the knock, the door to his quarters opened. Rey’s head unceremoniously popped out from behind the door to check.

 

“Dinner?”

 

He didn’t feel hungry. Mainly because of his own appetite but ever since a month ago when he first arrived, he had not been welcomed by the people in the base. Only Leia and Rey had showed him warmth while Poe and Finn are slowly opening up. He didn’t like the sneers he get whenever he appeared in communal areas. Sometimes, when he went alone, he would be the target of adrenaline driven pilots. More often than not, he would end up with bruises and Rey would get worked up. He never mentioned these incidents to Leia but he didn’t doubt that she knew. He deserved it. All these aggressions towards him are part of the punishment he must endure for all the sins he had done.

 

But now he couldn’t disappoint Rey.

 

“I… Alright.”

 

Rey sensed the hesitation. She didn’t push it.

 

Hux hastily put on a sweater and joined Rey in the corridor. As they made their way to the canteen, Rey paused, realising that she needed to pass on a piece of machinery she found from her last excursion to Leia as she believed it was valuable information.

 

“Oh shoot! Armie, can you go over to the canteen first? I need to see Leia really quick. I promise I’ll join you as soon as possible.”

 

“Okay.” Armitage nodded but his stomach dropped as he watched Rey ran towards the opposite direction.

 

He kept his gaze on the ground as he walked into the canteen and fell into the line for food.

 

“Evening, ma’am.”

 

“Fish soup served with mashed potatoes. Add a bit of seasoning there and voila. There you go, Hux.” The lady serving smiled slightly and gave him the food without a problem.

 

“Thank you so much! Your cookings are always nice. I enjoy them a lot.” Armitage politely said before turning around to the tables.

 

As he sat down, his eyes wandered around the canteen out of habit. Taking into account the activities around him. When he realised no one was looking at him, he relaxed and picked up his cutleries.

 

“Starkiller!”

 

Armitage snapped up from his food and barely missed the half-hearted punch that was going for his left cheek.

 

The assailant however wasn’t going for his face, as the hand then grabbed his tray and pulled it towards the ground.

 

Everything fell unceremoniously and the loud clank attracted everyone’s attention. Feeling everyone’s eyes on him, Armitage wanted to shrink but he could only tried to keep his eyes trained down.

 

“I don’t want any trouble, Kidoh.”

 

“Well your mere presence here is trouble.”

 

Armitage’s lips thinned at that remark before he was roughly yanked up from his collars and away from the canteen. The lady by the counter could only look on with worry in her eyes and quickly made a holocall to the General.

 

“Don’t do this, I am sorry for what I have done.” Armitage tried to plead. He would not beg.

 

He was shoved onto a wall in a secluded corridor as Kidoh gave him a low punch into the gut followed by a left uppercut that sent him reeling.

 

As the grip on his collar loosened, he dropped to the ground and curled into himself. Kicks were sent towards his abdomen and he bit his lips to keep himself from crying out.

 

“You killed all those people! Why won’t you die? Why did they let you live?! You are a murderer!” Kidoh shouted and screamed while assaulting Armitage.

 

_It is my fault. Is it my fault? It is. I didn’t choose this life. I didn’t choose this path, I was forced into it. I am sorry. I am sorry I didn’t fight it. I am sorry I succumb to it. I am guilty of all these deaths._

 

Footsteps could be heard closing in on the two as Leia, Rey, Poe and a couple of pilots raced towards them.

 

As Kidoh’s kicks slowed down, Armitage caught his foot and pushed him off before slowly getting up. Eyes bright red with tears, he had enough.

 

“You think I am happy with all that I have done?! I don’t have a choice! My path was chosen for me by the enemy! I live with my hands painted red, I don’t even want to live! Just kill me already!”

 

Leia and the others stood in silence, stunned by what they just heard.

 

“Just…. Kill me. You can hit me, attack me, but why can’t you kill me?” Words turned into whispers as Armitage let his tears fall onto the ground, barely registering Leia’s presence.

 

Leia couldn’t believe what she heard. Her heart broke listening to those words that were buried deep down. All she could do was to hold the boy in her arms. The boy that she was so excited over when he was still a toddler. The boy that she sworn to protect, the boy she always viewed as her own.

 

“You’re okay now. Its not your fault. We didn’t protect you. It’s not your fault….”

 

Armitage relaxed into the embrace and buried his face in her chest. Heaving with every breathe he took.

 

“I will keep you safe, Ani. You are safe now. Don’t you ever say that again.”

 

“I…. I’m…sorry..”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys enjoy it!
> 
> Just a random snippet that came into by mind while working.


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